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Sunday, August 29, 2010

lately lots of thoughts came to my mind. I've lived for 28 years, and there is still no direction in me. I realize throughout all these years, everything had been well planned for me that I don't have to worry. Hubby took up all stresses on himself just to provide us with the best and the useless me, just keeps on adding stress to him. I don't know if i had but I feel that i really had. I fear even on the slightest issue. Ever since the time I cried my heart and lung out, every issues that I came across makes me emotional even to a sense that my tear could just fall anytime. My face seemed hardened every time i tried so hard to smile. I miss my smile and self.... I miss it when I was never emotional. What had happened to me? Not only I had lost my direction but also myself. I wants my comfort zone all the time, if anything doesnt looks right to me, I hide, I procrastinate, I starts to avoid, starts to run away from it. what had happened to me? I dun like this me at all. I run through my early posts.. I wish but I know it would never be the same again

Blogged @ 7:47 AM
Don't let me go -

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Its a long time since I'd blogged. All the sudden i felt so helpless. Helplessly thinking why I'm always a loner in a group of people. cuz im easily anxious??? cuz im too quiet?? cuz i looks listless?? cuz i cant keep a conversation going?? My life is surrounded by lots of nice people .. though so near but all seems to be getting further and further away from me. I couldn't help being upset ... what to do? I'm still myself, no matter how hard i tried, i can't change anything. It's predestined tht i could never be one of the group no matter where I am.. I am always the last to be thought of. Everynow and then I just wish to be isolated.... im terribly disappointed in me.. yes, me :( Nobody could ever understand how i feel.

Blogged @ 7:41 AM
Don't let me go -